The current social distancing measures are causing parents, who may have already been struggling to maintain a relationship, to think about separation or divorce.
Parents are now working from home where possible. They’re also avoiding non-essential trips and having to contend with home-schooling. A spotlight is being thrown on many relationships that may have already been under pressure.
When the restrictions were relaxed in China, the town Xi’an recorded a leap in divorces. Local government offices said they were overwhelmed with requests from unhappy couples. During the shutdown there may have been a backlog of divorces already in the system to process, but social isolation is also being cited as a cause for the upsurge in requests.
However, in this country the courts are still sitting virtually, and we’ve always been able to work remotely. We’re available to give struggling parents assistance during the lockdown. There’s no need to wait until restrictions are eased to get help.
Life under lockdown
It’s not easy for already strained parents to spend 24 hours a day together. Living and working under the same roof, no opportunity to socialise with friends or free time away from other family members is hard.
Changes to routines, greater parenting demands and schooling requirements can be stressful for everyone. Especially under the circumstances. You may also be dealing with uncertainty and worries about your health, as well as work and financial stability.
These stresses may be making other issues seem insurmountable at the moment. So, it’s important, before contacting someone for legal advice, to consider if divorce or separation is what you ultimately want.
We would also urge parents who are considering a split with their partner, to always put their children first. Recent changes to routines, fears about the virus and concerns about their and your health, will have an impact on them too. As will any discussions you may be having, which they are able to overhear about your finances.
Helpful advice if you’re considering or have already split up
Here are some tips for parents who are considering, or have already, split-up. These could assist you to get through a very tricky period and will help protect your children, and you, if you need to take any legal action in the future. They include:
- Be wary of your friends offering well-meaning advice. Every situation is different. They won’t be objective or impartial. However, trained professionals will be.
- Get expert advice. Choose a family law specialist who you can communicate with in plain English. Ask about their background and experience.
- Keep your children out of any of the discussions or arguments. Remember, your ex-partner is also their parent and someone they love. It’s important to ensure their relationship with both of you remains positive.
- Don’t use the Internet as a source of information. This is not the place to get the right advice, especially as many websites relate to US not UK law.
- Avoid undignified, unreasonable and emotionally charged written communications with your former partner as these, even texts, could potentially be used in court.
- Keep calm. Detach your emotions. Be factual in any discussions with your ex-partner.
- Keep good records. Get your paperwork in order.
- Have a diary and take notes of anything you feel is important and relevant. This can also help you work through the break-up.
- Remember you no longer have to go through a solicitor to instruct a barrister to represent you inside and outside of court. By having direct access to barristers, you can save money by managing and handling the admin and the paperwork, while still benefitting from specialist legal advice from a children’s law expert.
- Take care of yourself. Eat well, spend time doing your favourite hobbies, get out into green spaces. It’s important to have perspective and not to fixate. Also retain your health to help your children through the process, which can have health and emotional implications for them too.
For any legal advice, you can contact us by calling 0117 214 1797 or emailing office@childreninthemiddle.co.uk.