Families could find the aftermath of COVID-19 just as devastating emotionally and financially as the lockdown.
We are expecting a potential rise in divorces and separations.
The combined impact on parents’ mental health and, for some, the pressures of financial consequences are enough to push couples towards divorce and separation.
Parents have understandably had a lot on their plates recently and a great deal to worry about. Some will have been furloughed and face an uncertain future. Money will be tight for many. Those that have been working from home might now be facing the prospect of going into a work environment where they are concerned for their safety. The worries associated with money, the health of children returning to school, of elderly parents and the stresses of home schooling before the summer break will, understandably, put relationships under pressure.
Daily we’re hearing about job losses and how, as a nation, we’ll need better mental health support in the coming months and years to navigate the post COVID-19 landscape. All this is heaping more pressure on to parents and families.
Expert research
A paper by the University of Portsmouth and Nottingham Business School published last year, entitled ‘Suicide, Sentiment and Crisis’ reported that suicide rates increase in times of economic strife.
It is widely understood by economic experts that the financial consequences of SARs and Swine Flu went on for several years after the initial outbreaks, and both of these pandemics did not have the impact we’ve seen so far with COVID-19. It is anticipated that the financial stresses of the virus will be felt for years to come.
These stresses may be making other issues seem insurmountable for parents, so we’d urge anyone who is feeling that they are on the precipice of making a decision to divorce or separate to consider if this is ultimately what they want, or if other strains may be clouding their judgment.
Those who are parents, we advise, need to always put their children first when considering a split with their partner. Children have had a lot to put up with recently including interference with their daily routines, worries about the virus and how dangerous it may be for yours and their health.
They might also be worried about returning to school in September, if they haven’t already been in yet since the COVID-19 lockdown in March. And have fears related to mask wearing. These concerns may already be playing on their minds. As well as any discussions they may have overheard you having about your financial situation and the potential impacts of this, such as selling the family home. They will potentially already be feeling insecure before you add in splitting up.
For almost all of our clients their children are their main focus and they wish to make the separation impact on their children as little as possible.
Top tips for how to handle the initial stages of separation
- Try and find a way to communicate civilly with your spouse or partner. This will help you sort out everything you both need to deal with. It will also help your children and inevitably will keep your legal costs down.
- Be kind to yourself. This is a major life event and very difficult.
- Speak to your children in an age appropriate way about what is going to happen. Reassure them that mum and dad still love them.
- Try and agree a plan for how the care of the children will be arranged. This will make everyone – you, your partner or spouse, and most importantly, your children, feel more secure.
- Separate out the finances and arrangements for the children. Judges expect these issues to be dealt with separately.
- Do not rely on legal advice from ‘the man in the pub’ or ‘the woman in the hairdressers’. It is likely to be wrong, however well meaning.
If you need help with sorting out the arrangements for the care of your children, get in touch with us. We are specialist barristers. There is no need for a solicitor – you can come direct to us, the experts.