September can be a key month for parents wishing to divorce or separate. It comes after the school holidays and, this year, months of home-schooling.
During this longer break, people tend to try and keep it together for their children. But, once it is over they often have time to reflect and, then, seek legal advice.
In a normal year, people are more likely to think about separating or divorcing now because of the additional strains that appear during holidays, but if you add in the lockdown and the extra time children have been home-schooled, this has given an added dimension to it all.
Ordinarily, September potentially sees an influx of cases for us. This is because parents wish to wait until after the long summer break when their children are back to school. This year, we’re anticipating more enquiries for our help due to the lockdown and the added financial and emotional strains many relationships are under as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. For many the relief felt with children going back to school and them returning, potentially, to their work environments away from home and time with their partners, will add to their need now to finalise any plans to separate or divorce.
Tips for parents
Divorce and separation can be very stressful. We’ve put together a few tips for parents who are splitting-up. These could assist you to get through a very tricky period. They will help protect your children, and you, if you need to take any legal action in the future. They include:
- Be wary of your friends offering well-meaning advice – every situation is different. They are not going to be objective or impartial, whereas trained professionals will be.
- Get expert advice – choose a family law specialist who you can communicate with in plain English. Ask about their background and experience.
- Keep your children out of any of the discussions or arguments. Remember, your ex-partner is also their parent and someone they love. It’s important to ensure their relationship with both of you remains positive.
- Be careful if you’re using the Internet as a source of information.
- Avoid undignified, unreasonable and emotionally charged written communications with your former partner as these, even texts, could potentially be used in court.
- Keep calm, detach your emotions and be fact-based in any discussions with your ex.
- Keep good records, get organised with your paperwork.
- Have a diary and take notes of anything you feel is important and relevant. This can also help you work through the break-up as well.
- Remember you no longer have to go through a solicitor to instruct a barrister to represent you inside and outside of court. By having direct access to barristers, you can save money by managing and handling the admin and the paperwork, while still benefitting from specialist legal advice from a children’s law expert.
- Take care of yourself. Eat well, don’t become a recluse, spend time doing your favourite hobbies, socialise and get out into green, open spaces. It’s important to have perspective and not to fixate. It’s also important to retain your health to help your children through the process. It can have health and emotional implications for them too.
Need help or advice?
As experts in making child arrangements following divorce and separation, we’re on hand to advise both parents and to work towards a sensible resolution.
No matter how challenging your circumstances, we can guide you through making care arrangements that work for you and your children. Please get in touch for help or advice.